oy!

Well, I passed by the Career Office today, just being nosy ya know. And the Advising Office was just next door. They had the sheets that show the basic curriculum of all the majors....

I saw the curriculum of Illustrators, and I didn't like it. lol! I am NOT interested in painting at all. So thats that. I'll just take Illustration electives (maybe minor if i can in it), but I'm sticking with animation. I am still not excited about traditional animation, so I hope I can survive with this reluctant outlook on it.

:)

...or am i really sure? Doh!

A post with less depression

I feel a bit better than before. I guess I can seem like a depressing, or easily de-motivated, person, but I'm pretty sure thats not the whole truth. haha. I still haven't found my love for Traditional Animation class. I'm not sure if it's the whole animating process that bums me out, because you can animate one scene, scan it into the computer, but then the whole scene can be animated completely wrong. I guess I'm used to doing things near "perfectly" the first time around. Especially since animating just one scene can take nearly a whole day.

I can't wait for Computer Animation, but Traditional Animation is truly testing my loyalties. I don't want to go into Game Art and Design because I don't care about Game Mechanics. I don't want to write a 10 page paper on a particular game mechanic that has been prevalent in games throughout the years. I don't want to break Space Invaders down into parts so that I can understand how the game works and why it was made in a certain way.

But, I also don't really want to go into Illustration because...I don't think it pays much? It's a harder industry to survive in? I'm not great in conceptualizing characters. Then again, I haven't really been trying all that seriously.

I could always try animating in Maya on my own to see if I'm good at it, I can try conceptualizing characters, I can try making actual illustrations.

...I don't know where I stand right now. (i know, i'll never know unless I try, and I will.)

Computer Animation I feel (or brainwashed myself to think) is more respected. Higher demand in. Broader job choices. Well-rounded skills to do anything with. ...Easier to do, maybe?!

I guess it comes down to whether I want to put the time into animating, ya know? Then, just thinking of doing Traditional Animation ALONG with Computer Animation doesn't sound like cake. Not that I ever expected it to be. But now having a taste of what Traditional Animation is like, I almost could say, "I'd rather do without." I keep tabs on the Freshmen Illustrators here, and I'm always intrigued with their projects. Ofcourse, it can easily be a case of "The Prince and the Pauper". One wants to be the other cuz they are tired of what they have.

Rhetorically: I want to be an illustration major because I think their assignments looks easy and fun. But I hear Illustrators who want to be Computer Animation majors cuz they think it looks fun.

Whaaaaaaaat-Ever. I'll just keep truckin'. If things don't shape up by next year.... I don't know.


...BTW, going to DisneyWorld this Saturday. Fun! Never been, so I look forward to the adventure.

Progress

Another week passes, and I try to keep my head up. I almost feel as if everything I do is wrong.

Please keep your head up, self. Don't lose yourself and drown.

Sketchies

Rough Storyboard for Flour Sack #2

(got depressed for a few minutes, which lead me to draw this:)

These next two are value studies for Observ. Color class:

The comic I colored debuted!

http://www.seibertron.com/transformers/news/transformers-mosaic-dellusions/15105/


Go to that link! yey!

The only sad part is that they forgot to credit me. I'm kinda bummed about it, but I figure I'd rather be known for a piece of work that was really awesome. I'm proud of my coloring on there, but it could have been better. Never done smoke either, so that was a first for me. It'll be printed in a Transformer IDW comic SOMEDAY, so thats cool.

Aside that, I'm discouraged with life in general. I am only good at art, i think, i may have some management/schedule abilities, but.... I'm really nothing. I don't think im a true artist. I don't think i'm anything useful to society. Maybe a temporary scab for people who need assistance. I am going to contradict myself here, but I think I can be something really awesome in life, but I also see myself being such a big failure.

Just going thru the times. Trying to survive. Trying to live.

Like I've told myself before, I can easily see the world passing me by. I'll be left behind. And I'll be bittersweet about it. My maturity level can vary, depending on the situation. But often times, I know I act childish most of the time. Whether it's because I don't believe I've grown up yet, I want people to think that I am no threat (under estimate me) so that I am percieved as a neutral force, I lied so much about myself that I can't help but continue acting that way, or because I really am ignorant of the world and don't know how to handle being on my own (except for the basic survival skills, like: microwaving food and trying not to die in anyway possible).

What will the future hold. Can I survive college?



....Can I finish my hw?

Sketch Poot

First off, I'll show you something that was productive to my schoolwork assignments:



Next, I'll show you what I did to NOT be productive in my class assignments or HW:








K, point made. I am SOOOOO hating HW right now. Especially since Observational Color is taking up most of my time!! I am so not awesome in that class right now. I'm pretty that I am the most behind student out of all of them. But, I tend to fall in the underdog position constantly. I guess I unknowingly like to show people what i'm made of at the last minute. Who knows.

....Well im going now. To do more hw (maybe).

:)

Woodruff and stuff

Well I didn't finish my color assn., but it was fine, the teacher was cool with it. I had such a messy day at class tho. Paint everywhere! And the teacher was kinda disgusted/amused at the colors i was getting while mixing. lol! I need to work on my patience and craftsmanship when it comes to paint.

Speaking of which tho. Thomas Woodruff's Freaks Parade is awesome! The colors are so... amazing! They pop out from the dark paper that is drawn/painted on.

So yea, back to classes. Trad. Animation was alright. We're working on flour sacks now. FUN. Sorta. I'm having some trouble, but I think i just need some getting used to animating something that is not a ball. hehe.

Beautiful rainy day!

It's 8:42 and i'm trying to finish my trad. animation hw AND my observational color hw! I'm not worried. I spent the weekend doing some hw and drawing figures (for fun!). It got to the point where I said, "Screw hw, cuz it's time for some personal drawing time."

Course, here I am now....  doing hw.