Starting to pack my junk now! I'll be leaving in a week and a half! I'm kinda too nervous to even pack. I just wanna be accepted to the college, and given the chance to start school whenever semester I feel like. lol. Give me some time to mentally prepare! But instead, I'll be going in head first with fresh feet. Being 1 among the other freshmen students who will experience (real) college for the first time.
I'm really excited, but I have my reserved thoughts. Will I enjoy it there? What will living in a new area be like? What new things will I see? Will I get sick on the cafeteria food? lol.
Anyways, there are a few things I know will be kinda "hard". Not having my PC to play games on. Not having my own TV to play games on!! Not having all my Transformers toys with me. Not have Sable with me. Not having my queen size bed to sleep on. And other things I'm sure I can easily think of. But the point is not to think of things that I won't have, rather to see that I now have a college I can be proud to be in.
I will definately draw much more! And not worry about taking General ED. And personally take the time to explore. (oh shoot! I just remembered I still have to find a Work Study job. lol!) But yea.... eeeeeek! Packing my things gives me butterflies.
I am going to take LOTS of pictures. And ironically, I still haven't uploaded my pictures from the cons I went too. *embarrassed* I will eventually! I'm serious!! lol.
I got a bunch of my other drawings from Life Drawing back. So I will upload those when I finally take a picture of them.
School is finally over. And taking 7 classes from 3 colleges was hectic. I will never try that again. lol. Barely made it this time. But I'm proud of myself for not dropping any of them. (As much as I wanted to) lol.
So I want to take a break this time and not go to summer school. Though I'm going to a career counselor tomorrow, and see what she says. Although it's kinda too late now since Summer semester starts next week, and I'm still burnt out from my 7 classes.
And I've decided to take a break from taking all those art classes, and just take General Ed stuff. I feel that way most likely because I'm kinda sick of doing art all the time. My 7 classes were all art related. And too much of something can turn ya green. That, and I think because of my problem with going to Ringling has kinda discouraged me to a point.
I haven't given up drawing, just laying off it a bit. And since I wasn't able to make a costume this year due to my underestimation of time and money, I will focus this year on school academics and costume development. Making costumes for AX is a big part of my life. A tradiation at this point. And I'm very disappointed for not being able to make the costume I wanted for this year.
So at the very least, I'm going to repair my Red Mage AF costume and construct a Sari Sumdac (transformers animated) costume. Sari has a very simple costume, so I really want to have that when I go for AX and Comic Con. My Red Mage is always a great costume to me.
I may have bitten off more than I can chew this time, but it truly was an experience though. And like I said before about the .hack//G.U. costume I made last year, "What doesn't kill us, only makes us stronger. And in this case, I believe we just leveled up atleast 2 skill points."
Well, im particularly bummed. It seems after getting accepted to Ringling, I'd be happy and set. But alas, i am torn away from that goal. I guess, getting accepted or not, I was not meant for Ringling.
I haven't told them I'm not going yet. And I got a mail package from them. Its wonderful to feel like i finally belong to a college now. I just wanna hold on to that feeling as long as I can.
And yea... Weather here is going crazy! It HAILED in Little Tokyo. I wasn't there to see it, but yea...wow. Then tornado near loma linda. And all this other wierd stuff. It's kinda cool and kinda scary. As long as no tornado comes near here and stuff.
So in my last entry, I said: ......well, I basically said I wouldn't be able to go to Ringling this year.
BUT, im happy to say that I WILL re-apply to Ringling AND other prospective colleges. Those schools will be - Laguna College of Art and Design, Calarts, UCLA, USC, San Francisco State University, and San Jose State University. I am trying to find a school in California that will definitely give me what I need to get into the animation industry AND provide good scholarships, since the lack of that is what caused me the problem I have now.
I look forward to this year, I'll do things I wasn't able to do and more. I especially look forward to doing commissions sometime this year. I will continue to research more about loans AND get some face-to-face help from school counselors. I plan to visit each school on my list and see what they have with my own eyes. That was one set back for Ringling; I didn't have the money to go visit, so I relied on phone calls and CA.org acquaintances for my questions. Which isn't a bad thing at all! But it would have helped my situation if I could've gone to the school and found out for myself.
I don't feel down anymore! I really like this decision, and I have no regrets. Whats one year to come between a productive extra year and an expensive Ringling tuition? I hope that made sense. It doesn't to me, but it SOUNDS right. lol! But yea, I get to enjoy taking a variety of classes again to round myself out, instead of going to Ringling and worrying about money. Plus, like I told myself, "If I was good enough to get into Ringling this time, I should really be able to do it again next time. I must have more faith in my skill. If I didn't have that faith, then I couldn't have possibly survived Ringling this year with that mindset!"
So that is my conclusion to this. 1 year to regroup and prepare myself for a lifetime career (and a 10-20 year debt, lol).
Have fun year 2012 @ Ringling! Work yer ass off, cuz once I get into the game, I plan to get the job yer aiming for!
Ok, so I may have some bad news too... I.. won't be going to Ringling anymore... Money concerns and all. I plan to continue learning at community college for one more year, and prepare for the Ringling tuition better. Tis a sad but hopeful thing. I may or may not elaborate more on this. I'll still be going to Sarasota before and during the orientation, but I won't be part of the festivities. I will most likely check out the campus since i'm there, and hopefully the won't mind me being around campus at that time.
Have fun class of 2012, hopefully 'seeya soon' class of 2013! heh.
Appropriated "I want you" poster of Uncle Sam, into this skull-headed embodiment of American's EXPENSIVE STUFF! In another words it's representing how there are soo many enticing things to buy like analog/digital cameras, ps3, games, digital screen frames, and more, BUT because of the little money [most/some] people have, to buy one of those things would mean we'd have to sacrafice something else. Like food or school supplies.
It's also how the govn't seemingly wants us to spend more and more for stuff like taxes and gassssssssssssssssssssss.
"I Want You (to BUY MORE!)"
Made outta bestbuy and circuit city ads. The Skull is actually covered by a plastic sheet to simulate a computer screen.
BTW, I quote myself quoting somebody:
"You know how when you mention "Ringling" to somebody, they think of clowns and the such. We'll I thought this guy was gonna say that when he said, "Ringling sounds like a...." he paused and thought for a second, "...like a ding dong school."
Yep. How ignorant. *sigh* And this kid is from an "elite" school. I sorta expected more intelligence from him. But alas, the logical world still does not acknowledge the art world.
I've been sighing all week, so i thought i'd emphasize it by titling this entry as such. And it's all because of the financial business. First of all, im not a very...financially informed person. I've never had to actually worry about financial things at all before. And it is not that I'm rich or anything near that, its because I've never been a financial burden before. When I was in Elementary school, my parents didn't really have to worry about paying because a friend of my parents was financially sponsoring me to go to school there. It was a private school. Then once the tuition was getting way too high, I went to public school. And I've been in public school ever since.
As for myself, I don't go shopping like some people. I don't go out and buy clothes or "outfits". I buy shoes once a year. I don't eat much. And whatever it was I wanted, I either waited till it was on clearance or found it at the swapmeet. My only costly aspect is the costume hobby I have. But even then, I spend it with the lunch money i've saved or not used in order to do this. Ofcourse, sometimes i have to rely on my parents for some things that I didn't have enough money for. Like my Transformers Obsession. But I've gotten over it (for now), lol.
So I really try not to be a costly child. When it comes to something like this now, I feel so horrible for putting my parents in this type of situation and I have no way to help. I dont have a job and my parents don't want me to have a job. Everything else is most likely pretty much up to me still.
I guess this is where I feel even worse. *insert sigh here* I haven't acquired any scholarships. Except for the one offered by Ringling. And I also got a call today from Laguna College. They told me that they raised my scholarship from 3500 to 5500. I felt so bad for telling them I won't be going. And I felt so many levels worse because i declined 5000 dollars. I feel like crying and going to sleep. But I'm cooler than that.
It's all up to me.. And I really don't mind just getting loans and being in debt. But I still feel like i have a duty to do something. Try more scholarship, get a job, get art commissions, not being such a loser. I almost feel bitter towards the Government for their ineffective FAFSA thing. I almost feel bitter towards people who don't deserve help from the govn't, but they get it. I almost feel bitter towards the corruption in the govn't and rich people. But I always keep in mind that there are people worse off. Like the lower to middle class white people. I almost rarely see any scholarships that are available for caucasian people, unless they are like super smart or have "connections".
I don't expect people to really empathize with my situation, since I know many people, who you could say is worse off, that work their butt off everyday by going to school & working, then get no help or parental kindness from their parents, and have to pay their own bills already. If they read this, they'd say "too bad, so sad". They'd say many things that aren't nice. And it'd make me wish they had a easier and happier life. Life isn't easy, i know my share of it, but if there were more sincere kindness in this world... Then again, what dimension did I crawl out of, huh? There is no such evidence of a world where a majority of the world's people are not dog eat dog.
Yey for going out of topic. I just need to get loans and scholarship.. I just wanna learn already.
Okay, if you look at it closely, I'm sure you'll come to the conclusion that EVERYTHING WAS SADLY DONE. lol! I Totally regret working on this sorta last minute. I drew the portrait way ahead of time, but I didn't actually finish till 5 minutes before class. If anything, I'm really ashamed at how the hands came out. So please....don't stare at their hideous hands. lol. Anyways....I basically spilled all that about the drawing/painting, just so I could give a reason to why the hands look so bad (and any other grotesque formations you notice). X3
And so goes a potentially good drawing down the procrasination toilet drain... *fwaps self* I know, no excuse... And I gotta keep reminding myself about that for Ringling. >.< It's senioritis all over again!!!